Monday, September 04, 2006

I hate Emo Screen Names and I went to Ireland

I'm trying to write this up in the time it takes to listen to Griegs Piano Concerto, 3rd movement (10 mins 42 seconds) So...

In the long period that has transgressed since my last update I’ve done/completed/started numerous exciting and time consuming things...

As per the last line of my previous entry... I screwed off to North Wales -

Man it really is the backend of nowheresville up their but the lack of mobile phone reception and coherent language made for a pretty relaxed trip. Due to my post operative (at that time about 7 days) state, I took a train up and down Snowdon, but hey I still clambered the last 20 metres or so just like every other pleb, only to be greeted by gale force winds, cloud and a vast greyness devoid of views of the pretty countryside. But it felt like an achievement of sorts, especially for a guy post op and who'd just come off painkillers for the first time in a month. It was warm below the clouds, a record warmth swept the big country, 36.3 degrees centigrade was recorded, surer proof of global warming will never be presented, I stopped lighting matches and throwing them in rivers.. I don't want to contribute to global warming above my body temperature's contribution.


Yea, I went there too, Christian, a Danish friend of mine from Uni, came to Cardiff, we ate many a potato, crawled in a sort of sewer and decided on the back of those events to go forth into Ireland. Think of around the world in 80days, then divide it by 10 and then minus one, and divide the world into countries... then select one, that one being Ireland, and you'll get an idea of the scope of out great journey. I kissed the blarney stone, drank Guinness from its source (and it tastes slightly flat and burnt there too) and heard an Irish man say "top of the mornin' to you" - one of those was a lie.

The music ran out... hmm, now I’ve put an hour long symphony on, that ought to do it.

Ireland was a country of highs and lows, the highs being a 60 euro curry that Christian and I ate, and my genius inspired purchase of a tin whistle (which I am fast becoming adept at playing, soon I’ll be able to pretend to be an Irish bum, another disguise added to my ninja repertoire) the lows being the rain, and the greyness of it all.

The entire trip was "thoughtful" as I described it to Christian over a double baileys.

The return trip was less thoughtful and more irritating... this is how I told Christian of it in an email... these kinds of things don't need to be written twice:

"My trip home was eventful; it actually took 24 hours to get back to Cardiff...
first I found out that in Dublin... the train I wanted to get went from the bus I missed it, then I got a bus from the train station that took a while heading south...then there was no tickets left for the ferry...I hung around and begged and they got me on with a staff ticket (but I still had to pay dammitt) and the "fast ferry" broke down and took longer than the slow ferry...

That meant I missed the train to Cardiff and the next one went at 01:50am...

so I took a taxi to fishguard with two other backpackers, a girl from Bristol and a guy from Vienna (at some point we had an old Irish guy that was drunk following us about)and we then took a bus to Haverford west, a town a bit further south...

Then we all hitch hiked to a motorway junction near Tenby... waited there a few hours in the dark... and luckily managed to get a ride back to haverford west with a guy that looked like Charlie Manson...We proceeded to sit in a pub drinking guiness and contemplating a night on the station floor when the bar maid, who was from Cardiff, took pity on us and rang the train company who agreed to let us on a transport train to Carmarthen at midnight, we then slept on Carmarthen station floor until about 3am, got another train to Swansea, slept there for a few hours on a bench then got a bus
to Bridgend, stayed there an hour or so and then finally a train to Cardiff
arriving at Cardiff Central station at 6am Sunday morning exactly 2 hours before the bus to my house so I walked to Sam's, threw stones at her window and
stayed over her house, and her dad commented the next day that "a He call at odd times doesn’t he".

24 Frikkin' Hours

Well that brings me all the way up to tonight, at 2am-ish. I was talking to Sam on messenger, but my battery ran out and so I got to insult her and then log off mysteriously. Heheh

My shoulder still hurts, it's numb in places, just like my heart (that would make a great emo screen name for messenger), I'm not a happy bunny about it, in fact I’ve openly declared that I need another holiday so in that spirit Samantha and myself are going to Croatia on Tuesday for a week, to take photos and be out of Wales, I worry that if, cumulatively, I am not out of Wales for at least 10% of year per year I will develop a stupid accent, if I am to beat that minimum percent I am still missing another 2.2 weeks after this trip to Croatia... dammitt. need another holiday at least.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Man i've had a shitty month

"The way of the Ninja is the way of enduring, surviving, and prevailing over all that would destroy one." - Toshitsugu Takamatsu

my broken clavicle - before

my broken clavicle - after

Man i've have a shitty Month, but I've endured it, survived it and Screw you guys i'm off to North Wales...

Thursday, May 25, 2006

If I had a superpower...

if i had a super power (in addition to my Ninja powers which are not super, but super-amazing)it would be the super power of always getting my way that way i'd always get my own way and it would be awesome, yes truly awesome.


"Hey Fidel, I want to be leader of Cuba (puppy dog eyes)"

"Hola, yea ok (divine indifference with a spanish accent)"

"Thanks Fidel.. (smiley face)"

"oh and Fidel... I want an army of Ninja Mongooses" (politely demanding)

"Si Si..." (nodding in resignation)

stop imagining....

yea, and life at the hospital goes on..and on.. and well i'm going to china in 3 weeks now. Visas are confirmed, flights books, shoes bought and i can count to about 9 in chinese. all set.

Been translating whats going on for a Norwegian lady in the hospital too. i knew learning obscure languages would pay off one day.

I watched an interesting French Movie the other day la haine, better than any "review" i'd just say watch it and formulate your own opinions, you all have brains. Suffice to say the issues raised by the film (produced in 1995) are still relevant today, even more so after the high levels of tension and "rioting" in Paris this year.

And a corpse vomitted blood on me the other day. it was more than disturbing.


Sunday, April 30, 2006

i love

Watching Sealab2021 on youtube:

Here's a link to an episode, there's plenty more on there.

Had a few harrowing experiences at work lately, a fatal cardiac arrest amongst them.

Going to China in 7 weeks. 7 countable weeks, i'm kinda glad, i think i need a little break from work.

Been Ninjaing a lot lately, unlike Dave who stopped Ninja now:


It was also my birthday last week and i am now 23. Spent the entire day ninjaing and went out for a meal with said ninjai in the evening. A big ass fight broke out between the local white trash eminem replicants and the local hiphop stars while we ate. Marc (my sensei) went over and put his face real close to the action. So close that i'm sure he could smell it. It was a good birthday, it wasn't getting drunk on a danish island with 30 friends while enjoying the beautiful scenery awesomegood, but it was adequate.

Other than that i've been researching purchasing a Katana. A live one (that doesn't mean that it is alive, it means that its as sharp as woody allens wit, no wait, thats not very sharp anymore, its as sharp as deaths sickle, hows that for sharp), theres just something so sexy about a real katana that girls (read sam) will never understand. Katana's are just so... curvy and sexy in a different way. and deadly. the other ninja understand.

Well i'm off to worldsend, i mean bridgend, for training now and my Satanic Mp3 player is broken, its not the first time but is the last. i have to buy a new one now. My nipples are getting hard already.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Waiting for a pizza to cook and taking the opportunity to update my blog

Its been a weird few weeks. I'll leave it at that. Nah... well I watched someone die in work. Its been a weird few weeks.

I Have however booked+paid to go to China now, we are leaving in 9 weeks... (9 weeks and i'm outta the country finally)

Dave has started Ninja and that's about that.

Its hard to write random stuff when i've got other things on my mind

Friday, March 24, 2006


I've been working a lot lately. A lot. Like all the time. and when i'm not working. i'm pretty much Ninja-ing. in which I have now advanced another grade. receiving a solitary silver star. to shine when sewn upon my Gi (Training Suit).

My silver star at work (Rosie) left yesterday, so now its back to being busy yet all alone. A lot of people have "passed on" lately, it gets a little tough to remain detatched at times.

Contemplating undertaking my full Nursing Training at a point in the nearish future, it could be a viable life goal, i've just gotta go to Japan and train in Ninjutsu first.

And go to China. That's going to be soon, June the 19th to be as precise as the atomic clock in Greenwich.

"Lao ban, wo yao yi wan mi fan!" - "Great Boss, I request a bowl of rice!"

I'm reading my way through The Analects of Confucius in preparation.

Confucius (2:17) said: "...shall I teach you about knowledge? What you know, you know, what you don't know, you don't know. This is knowledge."

A hobo tried to hit me the other day.. and failed.

In precis one must alway take a picnic along as one never knows when a picknic-y situation may arise.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

So tired.... so tired....

3 weeks sans updates, a poor showing there i know, but i do in fact have an excuse:


I really like my job and at the same time it takes up most or all, if i may, of my time. What with being a Ninja and listening out for the shinobi wind and all that i am left with 3 hours of free time per month. And i'm feeling it.

I haven't even been able to maintain my stylish "emo-hair"(TM), I now resemble a "neanderthal on a bad hair day"(TM).

Getting slightly flu-ish on and off. And its rainy season here in the amazon basin extension that is south wales... which always puts a dampener on any high hopes one may have but above all the soda machine at work has become my arch enemy, always tempting me with sugary non-goodness and then stealing 60p from me everytime i approach it. Damn soda machine.

I actually achieved a life-goal(TM) not so long ago... attended a performance of Rachmaninov's Piano Concerto No.2 at St.Davids hall. it was also the cheapest life goal i have yet completed at £4 for the ticket. Thats a life goal affordable on any budget.

Well I've also had some of my photos published too! (Yippee)

This one
this one

Argh what?!?!? I just realised that i actually have one of my 3 hours of free time right now?! I think it's time to go get the garden shears and hack off my hair, perhaps i could do it with my Ninja Sword instead, thats much cooler.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

A working week completed

I've worked early shifts all week. I've arisen at the ungodly hour of 05:45 every morning in order to get the bus at the ungodly hour of 06.33. I find it all rather tiresome and yet i am enjoying my new job as a Nursing Auxiliary despite crazy patients flipping out and me having to stop them and colostomy bags, just colostomy bags...all in all its just so much more important than photocopying already photocopied pieces of paper and I guess so much more rewarding.

I've also progressed a grade in Ninjutsu, Tall-Jutsu (Andy) and I took our tests friday night after class and passed our rolling (Kaiten) and falling (Ukemi) exam with literally flying colours as our green belts swirled about during our various flips and 540 eXXXtreme techniques. As of next Tuesday i'll be the proud bearer of a shiny Ninja badge and now i can start working towards getting my sewing and camping badges too.

Utilising my 3.2 hours of free time that i now have each week i went to a lame assed party last night at Andy's old place. I got annoyed by and at the faux socialists... (faux socialist)"yes, "No Logo" by Naomi Klein is no "Das Kapital" (me)"Have you actually read das capital to make that comparison or did you just read that on the back of the no logo book or in some indie magazine" (faux "socialist")"uhm.. yea a fellow leftist are you, I'm like a socialist you see" (me)"yea..."like" a socialist, uh look over there" (exit room) - grrrrrrr. they piss me off.

Then I left the party as everyone was drunk and annoying and/or northern or irish and/or existing under the false pretense that their lives actually matter and/or having stupid 70's-esque jumpers on (I wish that they could all go back in time and live in the stupid 70's and then they wouldn't have to be here now). Students these days eh, its not like when I was at University, where the fields were green and some people attending the university had IQ's in triple figures and were not wasting oxygen by existing (I said "some" not all, don't go taking me out of context or misquoting me here). Oh and If i ever hear a comment about my hair again i swear i'll kill someone. Preferably painfully. I fucking mean it.

Before this week, that week being last, Ulla came over to visit, it was nice to speak Danish again as one can have so many bitchy conversations about people literally behind their back without them even noticing. Though I suppose one can also bitch about them ambiguously on the internet as well and they won't notice either like i've just done/

If anyone wants to moan/bitch about my grammar please write to me at this address

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss


Sunday, January 29, 2006

Blog Bloggedy Blog blog Blog...

In the days passing to weeks since my last update oh so many numerous awesome things have happened.

I went to Prague incidentally... actually it was awesome. It was also minus 13 degrees some of the time and I also managed to get some sorta acute food poisoning/almost dieing illness that I am still ever so slightly recovering from. But overall it was a truly awesome awe inspiring trip.

The most memorable experience, relatable here, was on the very first night, when Samantha and I were but Czech newbies we stumbled across a Martial Arts shop the likes of which none of you mere mortals will ever come across. I mean they had several varieties of Shu-ri-ken for starters! And there was a Chinese guy guarding the doorway! Well we entered and looked about for a while admiring the shiny shiny shiny blackness of the black ninja stars and the sheer awesomeness that is expensive Katana swords vowing to return at some further point in time to look again/ perhaps purchase something oh i don't know what but it wasn't a sword etc etc.

Anyhow, the basic tale of the next few days, besides the sight seeing and numerous life saving hot chocolate drinks (which in prague seemed to be made out of small discs of some disgusting tasting goop that when melted tasted like your everyday run of the mill hot warming soothing chocolate of goodness but when semi melted tasted like some type of chocolaty disgusto soggy cardboard) was the search for said Martial Arts shop. We never did find it, perhaps that dissappointment was what led me to be ill, sick, dieing. Maybe it wasn't the dodgy egg I ate that morning. Maybe it wasn't.

looking down the tracks I spied...

Well Praha was fantastic, it was great+1 to get out of britain for a week, and now my eyes set their sights on another destination: China

A trip is in the pipeline for a duration of a little over a month, the little being our security blanket for getting back to Beijing to fly home, by all accounts it'll be a 6000 mile round trip, and as a non driver I don't really have any idea of how distance really works in a car sense but that does sound like a lot to me so a few extra days can only seem to help, and perhaps it'll allow us to see some real Shaolin Monks or something. Not like in prague where there wasn't a single Rabbi in sight even though we waited for hours in the jewish quarter.. in the minus 13 degrees cold. dammit.

Anyhow I'm also a Nurse now - for which I am relieved, its only taken what.. 6 months from application to getting a start date, i've heard that that's efficient over here, what with waiting lists and all. I start sometime next week, and i'm being specifically ambiguous about the location so as to add an air of mystique to it.

looking to the future i spied a battle

I might make this my new Profile image, who knows eh? (as thats the Ninja way, not letting anyone else know) I dedicate this image (best viewed large...) to all budding Ninja, remember as Hatsumi Sensei says "Keep Going"

So does that do as an update, have I missed anything out?

Friday, January 13, 2006

Once upon a Wednesday...

Once upon a wednesday I went to the Ballet with Samantha, to Prokoviev's Cinderella in fact. It was awesome, performed by the Ukrainian National ballet troupe and the Prokoviev Orchestra, its awesome to be able to attend so many great concerts over here.

I've basically been busy Ninja-ing. Pretty much everyday, if felt good to get back to training after the long harsh winter break. Oh those long days of waiting, endless waiting ended. In fact those 10 days went rather quickly in r-r-retrospect...

Recently I've purchased many weapons... and am becoming proficient in their uses, several have commented that "you'll cut your arm off" or "what a waste of money", i've replied with "have you ever seen what a Sai looks like when you shove it up someones nose?" (one of the several uses of a Okinawan Sai, among others carrying bales of hay i've been told)

I've also discovered/learned how to create a perfectly acceptable Ninja Hood which is part of my overall Shinobi Shozoku (the classic black suit)

I think Andy and I will be utilising this newfound skill when we take to the mountains on Saturday to Train in the forest.

I've been to see a few fils recently lately... Matchpoint by Woody "did you know i'm jewish" Allen and Brokeback Mountain by Ang Lee.

Well Matchpoint was terrible and by terrible I mean shite. In one word i'll sum it up... *cough* Totalshitewoodyallenhasneverbeentolondonanddoesntknowhowtowriteanymore *cough*

Brokeback mountain on the otherhand.. well its was literally a "touching tail" (i'm making a joke, i know how to spell "tale") of two gay cowboys, it made me feel really sad. it's keyword is most definitely: "GayCowBoys"

I also managed to snap one of my harder than hard white oak staffs in half, "how did he do that" i hear my numerous/millions of reader say in unison, well i used my awesome Chi powers and/or bent it too far over my shoulder. Luckily its still under warranty so i'll get a replacement.

I'm going to prague on monday for a while, by while i mean until friday. I'm going with Sam and I know a few phrases in Czech, which may come in handy.

Lije jako z konve
It's raining as if from a watering can

I think that will be useful, most useful.

Well Avid readers I best be off, but lastly I'll mention Samantha's 21st Birthday party... It involved Chopsticks and 99 red ballons...I'll briefly relate the story...

It was a stormy welsh afternoon as St.John's Clocktower struck 3pm, though Samantha sailed gracefully along the pavement as if it were a calm day. A trip to the bay ensued followed by warm beverages and the greatest cake i have ever tasted (toffee-banoffee pie). Our stomachs filled we headed out to sea, on the £4 return ferry to Penarth, a faraway location that takes 15 minutes to sail to across the most dangerous waters known to Cardiffians, we made it but only just and as such were stranded until the next ferry/bus but discoved a most splendiferous area of expensive yachts and cute houses in the process of exploring to take up time. After the return journey, where how cool taking a boat actually is had finally "sunk" in, we proceeded to head into the bowels of the welsh opera house (the so called millenium centre though i doubt that in a millenium anyone will go there and see crappy musicals) to consume hot chocolate and overly expensive shortcake biscuits (a fu*king pound!!! for 2!?!?!) and absorb the phenomenon that is overly happy jazz music for a while. (the drummer was looking so happy that I actually thought he was retarded for sometime until i noticed that he did in fact possess the ability to close his mouth at intervals and not drool with inane smiling drumminginduced jazzy happiness, i mean it wasn't that great a jazz concert, it was free afterall) Somehow after that we ended up at a Doctor Who exhibit....Then we waited for some other people who arrived and I pretended that we were going all going bowling (Samantha's achilles heel) but no! I was lying! bwuhahaha! and we were actually going for a superawesome superexpensive chinese/thai/japanese meal?!?!?!!

From the menu
...there is no sequence in order - relating to how you could eat desert first and starters last hence no sequence in order. It was a menu of Zenness and was totally awesome.

after the meal we went to toms house and there were 99 red ballons there and an accompanying song that was written, i believe, specifically for this occassion. It was then decided that Sam should run around covered in said ballons until she herself looked like a red balloon, this was achieved and a taxi home was taken as toms neighbours were pissy and middle aged and stuff and we all had to leave.

Yea so thats the story of Sam's birthday.

Joyously I also received my student card renewal sticker today! (my uni are too cheap to send new cards out every year...) specially forwarded by Ullie Koolie for my student discounting pleasure!

In precis, thats what I call a superawesome time.

A View  in the Dark,,,

I took this photo down the bay and dedicate it to all the seagulls and cute baby seals that have lost their homes due to the flooding caused by the building of a big wall of sand designed to keep english people out of Cardiff Bay. May those impoverished seagulls keep shitting on the heads of the politicians who built by hand the wall of sand until the day the wall is broken and may the cute baby seals remain cute and force the politicians to reconsider. amen.

For those of you who have persevered down to here I salute you.
"Life has no meaning a priori...It is up to you to give it a meaning, and value is nothing but the meaning that you choose." - J.P Sartre